I drank 5 or 6 Screaming Nazis (one part rumple minze one part jagermeister, that is a really sweet but really strong combo, snuck up on me big time) last night at a house party. Me and a hot chick wrestled a few times and then I blacked out early in the night. i apparently passed out around midnight. i woke up covered in piss and still drunk around 8, took a shower, fell down a staircase and asked the owner of the house to take me home. there is a paragraph of racist remarks and sexual comments written in permenant marker on my back and my phone doesn’t work because it was soaked with urine.

Last night out with a buddy we decide to get wasted so we buy a huge bottle of svedka vodka, we take shots and shots of it, 30 min pass by so by now were buzzed, and we decide to take out a bong, we pour vodka in it instead of water and light it up, we get high as a kite and after that i dont remember anything except for the next day when i awaken at 1am in a random apartment building a mile from our house I’m laying on the stairs, my glasses are gone, my hat is gone and my phone is gone, yet i still have my wallet and iPod, i get up and groggy and begin walking through the hallways looking for an apartment to crash in, with no avail. i go outside of the building and begin walking around in shorts and a flimsy jacket. i walk for 20min before reaching a plaza i end up knocking out in a corner on the floor. i wake up 40min later and begin walking again whilst still sleepy, i go behind a bush and sleep for about an hour, then i wake up around 4 and continue walking all the time not seeing well without glasses. i begin getting cold so i run to warm up i run for at least an hour before reaching the street where the house is. i arrive and immediately go to sleep on he carpet, i sober up and never found my suff :/

Well, It started out like a normal night.
Get to the party house, drink some booze, and crash.. I wasn’t expecting to see a good lookin’ gal’ there, but I did..and well.. we hit it off! I spent the majority of the night swooning her. I was only there for about 2 1/2 hours.. Consuming a good amount in that time period. Everyone at the house crashed, But she was in the bathroom.. I waited, Then I woke a girl up to check on her, She was passed out on the toilet. She came too, I somehow managed to talk her into WALKING to my place… which is nearly 4 miles away. Keep in mind, she just passed out on the toilet and I can barely stand. We start walking, We get about half a mile down the road, I find a little alley pathway.. Shortcut ! I knew it! For some reason we ended up fucking in this pathway. We did our business and kept walking. Eventually we get to my place. I don’t have my keys, I left them in my jacket, which i lost during our sexual escapade. I get in through the back, Take her down to my SISTERS basement and fuck her brains out I was so trashed that some how I started eating her ass. I NEVER LICK ASS, THATS GROSS! anyway, It happened. … We woke up,I couldn’t find my jacket, or my keys or my charger… I went looking for that pathway, I have no idea where we were. It will forever remain a mystery. she said her face hurts like she got hit on the head. and my hand actually hurts like i hit something hard.. I feel dirty, I feel wrong, I barely remember anything about that night except for the traumatizing event of licking her ass. oh why.. WHY DAMN IT WHY!

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It’s happened before and it will happen again: you plan a weekday slumber party with your boy du jour and come morning, you shrug on your oversized tunic only to realize you’re missing that one accessory that makes all the difference – the belt (no, this post is not about how to wear your boyfriend’s boxer briefs fashionably). Fear no more. Here’s a how to pull it off despite unfortunate circumstances tip offered gratis from my always-put-together office roomie, Abbie S.

Next time your boy guilts you into a midweek sleepover at his place, rather than spend the day in a muumuu look-a-like that has co-workers gossiping on their lunchtime walk to Chop’t about your potential bun in the oven, try this trick. (If it’s a one nighter, you won’t have to wonder if he’ll call – he most certainly will. Instead, the question becomes: is he calling to retrieve his belongings or to ask for that second date.) Step 1: Stand in front of his closet and take note of his belt options. For this trick, you’ll be looking for one that offers complete sizing flexibility, as more likely than not, his waist is about 10 sizes bigger than yours. Step 2: From the options offering full adjustability, choose the most unmanly man belt available (i.e. isn’t it time he said goodbye to that fabric, slim-cut Abercrombie & Fitch number he’s been hanging on to since eighth grade?). Step 3: Remember Adam Sandler’s shoelace advice from Big Daddy? “Loop, swoop and pull.” Slight modification and move to the waist for application: double-loop, swoop and pull. Voila! Not only did you save yourself from a day of outfit shame, but you now have a great look that might earn its way into your personal style hall of fame.

SaveYOUR Style How To Take Tip: Don’t take his everyday leather belt. It won’t look good on you. And if it’s a one nighter, you can guarantee his call the next day will NOT include an offer to take you out to dinner.