Now keep in mind that this all happened when my friends and I were all about sixteen years old…

Anyway my three friends and I decided to spend the night at my one friends house. After about an hour of being there I pulled one of them to the side and suggested we steal his mom’s beer. Once we both had about 6 each we started getting kinda loud and woke his mom up, not on purpose of course. She was extremely pissed since she had work in the morning and needed her sleep. She ended up kicking all four of us out in the middle of the night where we wandered around until we found an abandoned house to spend the night. The house had no electricity, we had to pee in the tub since the plumbing didn’t work, and there was a dead bird in the hallway, but nevertheless it turned out to be a really good night that my bros and I still reminisce about to this very day.

So, we were drink in my friends garage. Me, my girlfriend at the time, and my two friends.

Let me preface this by saying that when my one friend drinks he gets VERY impressionable.

First I look at him an say “hey, you should run down the steet in your boxers holding sparklers and screaming.”

He slurs our, “Fuck it! I’ll do it naked!”

So he does, comes back in the garage and says “I think i burnt my dick…”

We are all laughing at him, then I deliver a swift kick to the nuts and he passes out. an hour later he wakes up stone cold sober, lights a cig, and says “where the fuck are my pants.”

Most of us have seen the move The Hangover.  A bunch of guys find themselves waking up in Vegas with absolutely no memory of what happened the night before.  While this is makes for an amazing comedy, in real life things don’t always work like the movies. 

 Are there rules when drinking at a casino?  Well, that depends a lot on what type of drinker that you are and what type of drunk you are.  We all know the “I love you” guys or gals when they get drunk, and at the same time we all know the aggressive types that like to get into fights.  If you happen to be a person that falls into the latter category, you are going to have problems.

 People are at the casino to have a good time and have fun.  Casinos do not tolerate any sort of threats of physical violence or violence of any type.  If you get aggressive due to being drunk, you will be thrown out, and if you resist, you will have the police called on you.  It can take just a few mere seconds for security to swoop on you if there is a problem.

 Also, if you are bothering other patrons and causing too much of a commotion, you will likely be asked to calm yourself or to leave.  While the best casino movies on casinoguide portray casinos as places where people party and whoop it up, it can get excessive.  There is a big difference between someone celebrating for winning $5,000 on slots and someone just causing a big commotion for no apparent reason.

 Some tips for some of you that like to drink to excess are as follows.  First, try and limit yourself on the hard stuff when drinking.  There are plenty of cheap beers available that can allow you to have a buzz without going off the deep end.  Next, if you are someone that is prone to aggression when drinking, consider having a designated dry guy.  He or she can also act as a designated driver if you choose to drive to the casino.  They can help keep you in control or even get you out of there if you start getting too aggressive. 

 Finally, and most importantly, make sure you have a way to end the night safely.  If you do not plan on having a designated driver, take a cab to and from the casino home.  You could also get yourself a room at the casino to end your night there.  Drunk driving is illegal, can land you in jail, and in many states can result in the impounding of your vehicle.

 For many, having fun at the casino means having a few drinks.  However, if you use you plan things out before you go, you can keep from having a disastrous end to your night.

I was getting my nails done and I thought, “Let’s see what’s in Cosmopolitan Magazine.” because it was just sitting there. (What has happened to that magazine by the way???) It had an entire section on how to please your man with backside relations. (You know what I mean.) This must have subliminally implanted itself as a goal because a few weeks later when I had some Belvedere and Diet Coke I suggested it and knew that we needed lubrication Bliss Lotion and everything! Quell horror. Anyway, I am so happy it was with a guy I trust and love or this would have been devastating in retrospect. Oy vey! Namashkaar baby! lol

One drunk night about 20 friends and i were at the park drinking . We had a half gallon of svedka and bacardi, on like 12 heads, cause some people brought their own or werent drinking. So it was clear that it was going to be a good night. The half gallon finished pretty fast and by then we were all tipsy. We left the trails we were at and decided to go to the 3rd dock. Which people fish off of. there are rocks underneath it and it was low tide. Our friend who just died his hair blonde decided it would be cool to jump off the docks. He was extremely drunk. He took his shirt off and nobody thought he was actually going to jump. Well we were right, he didn’t jump, he dived ! HEAD FIRST into rocks. There was no splash.. We panicked. He cracked his head open . He was loosing so much blood and his skull was showing. We were all drunk so nobody knew whether to call an ambulance or not. But we did. Our older friends stayed by him until the ambulance arrived. (And 2 firetrucks, and cop cars) Luckily, he was okay, he needed staples and stitches. But he survived. One of the craziest drunk experiences.

I’m a freshman in college and hadn’t been to any parties yet. But this weekend I got invited out by this guy I was really into. However, I lost control pretty fast. I still don’t know if i was trying to impress him or if I was just super stressed and couldn’t stop myself. Anyway, all I remember is puking all over myself and this apartment. I found out that I yelled at a guy i barely know, almost made out with some girls on the dance floor, and on top of that, I completely threw myself at the guy who invited me. I’m so embarrassed because there were a bunch of people that I constantly see in class and on campus. Oh well, I guess it happens to everyone right??

When this night occurred I was studying in Switzerland, and I was 18.

It was my roommate’s birthday and we decided that we should throw an absolutely over the top party, so we rented the scummiest bar out for a night and bought 30 bottles of liquor and about 10 bottles of champagne. In order to cover the cost for the drinks we figured we would have everyone pay cover and have an open bar. Just to add to the absurdity to the night we required that everyone dress in formal attire.

To start the evening off we had dinner at an unmemorable restaurant, however every guy in attendance was required to ask a random girl out to this dinner. The night went something like this:

- My roommate and I arrive at the restaurant late because we were pre-drinking, I am already fairly drunk
- I sit down notice that my date is not there. I should have expected this as the only words i can remember ever speaking to her are “Hey, want to go to dinner with me?”
- I begin to drink aggressively to lessen the awkwardness. I notice another guy was stood up, this somewhat appeases my shame.
- I hit mercilessly on the hottest girl there, she’s some other guys date but she laughs at all my jokes and I am drunk so I can’t help it.
- I blackout, don’t remember eating or leaving the place, it is 9 pm and im so drunk i have become manic.
- I have somehow gotten to the bar, absolutely hammered. My roommate makes a toast and pops a bottle of champagne. He takes a swig and passes it to me and tells me its all mine. I think that i may have pre-drank a bit to much.
- I run around the bar, and discover that there is four stories to it and an elevator. I promptly race the elevator up to the top floor to the bathroom. I win and i tell this to anyone who will listen, they aren’t impressed.
- I walk outside and see a large black man yelling at my roommates older brother. One of the black guys friends walks up to me and tells me to separate them as the black man is crazy and he is “packing”. I don’t really believe him.
- A crowd gathers to watch what will surely be a fight, and i decide to fuck with people. I single out the drunkest ones and tell them that the black guy has a gun. Most of them don’t believe me but a few do and sprint back into the bar. This amuses me.
- The man takes a swing at my roommate’s brother with a empty bottle, another friend jumps on his back and puts him in a half nelson preventing the hit from connecting. I decide its best if everyone goes back in the bar.
- I somehow manage to get everyone back into the bar, I realize that I am sobering up so I drink more. As I am drinking I finally notice how fucked up everyone else is, it probably was a bad idea to get that much booze.
-I decide to fuck with people some more and tell them more lie for my amusement. I yell lude sexual acts at a couple who are making out.
- I look out the window and one of my friends is pissing on it, this momentarily shocks me until he immediately passes out face first into his piss. I can’t stop laughing
- The Piss covered guy is in an ambulance with alcohol poisoning, everyone else seems to be in pretty rough shape. I note a couple friends outside puking. I go out and individually call them pussies and embarrassments of men. They dont respond. I go back inside and drink.
- Another friend asks me which way the hospital is, I respond I don’t know so he asks a local who points in some general direction, I turn around and he is full out sprinting. This nearly brings me to tears.
- Some friends and I decide to go to a club, we get lost instead, however we leave a wake of destruction so I am happy. This includes breaking the handrail of a balcony, destroying a bike, somehow uprooting two trees, stealing two signs for the hospital and finally ending up in a fountain. I was just in my socks because “I don’t want to cut my feet, but i can’t get my shoes wet”.
-We walk back to the bar and i see a person passed out in the middle of the street, its one of my friends. I pull him out of the street and ask him if people are still at the bar, he doesn’t respond, this annoys so I leave him.
-We end up back at the bar just as the last people are being kicked out, we then decide to call it a night.
- There is a very drunk girl sitting on a metal bench, she suddenly pukes all over her lap and in one fluid motion spins and hits her face of the bench. She doesn’t get up for a while, I would have helped her but I was laughing too hard.
- The family I was living with shows up in an RV, they want to party more. I say drinking anymore would be irresponsible. However the have alcohol with them and I cave within seconds.
- We are at the club, we get in for free and get free drinks because they know the owners. I am very pleased with my decision to drink more. There are 8 of us: the mom, the dad, the son, roommate, roommate’s brother, roommate’s girlfriend, puke covered girl and me. I avoid getting close to puke covered girl for obvious reasons.
- I try talking to other girls but i have lost the ability of speech.
- I black out
- Im in the RV and we are driving somewhere, the dad is driving and he is very drunk. I would have lectured him on the dangers of drinking and driving but it comes out as a groan and i pass out.
- The son is trying to wake me up, he slaps me a couple times but its not working, he shouts “whiskey” and i wake up immediately and reply ” I don’t like it all that much, but sure i could drink. I would prefer vodka if you have it” I have no idea how i managed that sentence.
- The mom makes us pasta
- I lack fine motor skills so i just eat with my hands
- Then I pass out

We went back the next day to look at the bar and we had really fucked it up, the whole street was covered in what looked like stains from rivers of puke. We went inside and asked how much booze we had left, 4 bottles of liquor and 2 of champagne. Which we drank that night. We never paid the bar all of the money we owed so to top it off we drank two full nights for pretty much free.

The long story of this night took almost a year to put back together and there are still blank spots and mysteries. Like how i managed to keep the hospital signs through all of that.

Monday was my 21st birthday so we all went out to a bar called O’mannins. I pregamed in my car on some Whisky then went in and drank I have no clue how much. They kicked me out and the cops showed up. They Searched my car for anything illegal they fount my half gone bottle of Whiskey and 2 shot glasses. they noticed it was my 21st bday so they stood their until my sister came and scrapped me up off the pavement. The cops were awesome they hid my Whiskey and shot glasses for me under my seat and told me under normal circumstances I would b going to jail for sever Public Drunkness. But they understood i guess and let me go with a scolding about i need to be careful next time lol. What happened in the bar all i remember was some girl dragging me in the bath room so i could play with her boobs lol. God Bless Liquor

While leaving the bar last night, I got in my first fist fight since I was in highschool. This is how it happened:

At the bar, there was this really good looking drunk girl who was dancing like a slut. She ended up slapping someone she was arguing which ended in her getting thrown out.

It was hilarious.

As my friends and I were walking back home, we see the SAME girl. One of my friends said a cordial ”hello” and the girl acted like a complete bitch. As the girl blew us off, I shouted the only think that came to my drunken mind, “Fuck you too skank!” and kept walking.

Thats when a polo wearing white knight arrived.

All of a sudden, this random fratboy who was apparently so distraught over the fact I called this girl a skank, comes hauling ass across the street while letting out a beastly wail. As soon as his foot hit the sidewalk, I busted his nose.

I honestly blanked out, it happened so fast and the next thing I remember is getting pulled off this guy at two in the morning.

My friends held on to this guy to try to calm him down. That’s when fratboy’s hysterical crying girlfriend started screaming at me and kept smacking me with her purse.

After a few moments, my friends let this guy go and he starts heading right at me, again. I could see blood is just pouring out of this dude’s nose/mouth as he gets closer to me, he was pissed.

Well, I had a good 40-50 feet in between me and this guy so I actually had time to get my feet in the right place and get somewhat ready. I just stood there and when he got within striking distance, I decked him right in the fucking face for a second time and must have rocked him pretty bad because he didn’t try to fight back after I stuck him.

In the end, even if the guy never landed a punch (I don’t think he even threw any) his teeth did cut my thumb. It’s probably going to be infected too, mouths are full of germs.