Last night I drank 6 beers in my room with some friends. Then I drew some triangles on my face and decided it was time to ride my bike (through the rain, at 11:30, by myself, while thoroughly drunk) to the next town to another party I was invited to. I took my phone, ID, keys, and, of course, silly string. Then I got lost. Keep in mind it’s down pouring.
So I make a phone call for some directions and fall off of my bike in the middle of the road. Almost get hit by a car but hop back on like its no big deal and by some miracle of God I finally ended up where I wanted to be with everything intact. I probably drank some more and talked to people (who can remember these things?) Then I smoked some weed. Then I rode my bike back to school while incredibly ridiculously drunk and high.
Somehow got to my room decided to take a shower. I told my roommate that I might die and if I do, she can have my bunkbed. Then i went on the internet and typed “crazy videos” into google. I watered the dead plant that hasn’t been watered in 4 months. I put some money on my laundry card and set my alarm for 8:30. I also remembered to wear my reading glasses. and then I fell asleep.
When I woke up (to my 8:30 alarm) I was still drunk and high so I decided to do laundry. The cleaning lady was down there and I asked her if she wanted help with anything. She looked confused. I still might be drunk…
