Welcome to SUNY Albany’s Kegs & Eggs, a shitshow of a time starting before you would even be home from the bars running all weekend long. If shitty bear and omelet’s (potentially green for St. Patties day) at 6am don’t sound like a good time you need to re-evaluate your life. Think of your childhood, you have been preparing for a weekend like this since you first read Dr.Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham…if you forgot the classic story let me fill you in on how my weekend with Green Eggs and Ham will go:

So I will eat them dressed in only socks

And I will eat them with a side of sorority box

And I will eat them in your infested fraternity house

And I will eat them with your pet mouse

And I will eat them on bowling lanes and avoid couch’s with sex stains

Say! I will eat them with the Great Danes!

Now that I sold you on Kegs & Eggs with my lyrical rhymes, it’s time to pack your bags and get ready for an absolute train wreck of a weekend. The drinking begins between 3 to 4am (yes I really just said 4am) so be prepared to get zero sleep, hey your parents always wanted you to get an early start on the day…at least your making them proud this weekend.

Saturday March 14- Wow 4am Really Exists When I’m Sober!

I promise you when 3:30am roles around you will feel like shit and the last thing you will immediately want to do is start drinking, bottom line…don’t be a pussy. My mornings at Kegs and Eggs in the past have started with an alarm clock at 4am blasting ThunderStruck with a beer sitting directly next to the alarm, this shit will get you fired up. Remember it’s a privilege to party not a given right, so prepare for battle all day long. Pound a few beers in your room and get out  by 5am to go find a house party close to Washington Ave. You will be amazed at how many people are already tanked at such an early hour but it’s nothing compared to the bar your about to hit up.

Chubby’s on Washington Ave opens at 6am and there will guaranteed be a huge line when you role up. Chubby’s is the definition of what a shitshow would be defined as….once inside the bar you’ll realize what you just signed up for. The entire place is flooded with beer and people are literally pounding back brews and dumping beers all over each other…like you have something better to do at 6am?

Once you have had enough of Chubby’s it’s time to hit up some house parties, which will continue the festivities throughout the day. I will be hitting up a huge ragger on Hudson Street and hope to see everyone there. If you don’t make it to Hamilton or Hamilton Street there will for sure be parties going on close to Chubby’s so just follow the crowds. The house parties are really where it’s at considering everyone will be black out drunk before 8am hits, and most places will just charge you $5 for a cup to drink all day.

To phrase this in a nice way, there are some real sluts in Albany. This slut factor mixed with a morning full of drinking should always equal some random hook up or at least a bj in the frat houses bathroom. At some point during the morning you definitely will need to refuel unless of course your passed out covered in your own piss already. The great part about this is the egg factor of kegs and eggs, not all parties will have food but there is no doubt you can find some house party to grab a quick bite then head directly back to the bars or your new bj queen.

If you wake up in the morning at the hotel consider it a true accomplishment….if you wake up without dicks drawn all over your face consider that an accomplishment as well.

- TheCampusSocialite.com

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010 at 12:33 pm and is filed under Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.