Last Friday night I began my weekend as usual. I pregamed in the dorms with a group of people and then headed to a party. Beers are drank, shots are ripped, and jungle juice is pounded. It’s probably around midnight when we all decide to head to our favorite college bar. Now everyone has that one person they hate in life, and when I walk into the bar I see this guy.
Now let me tell you about this douche bag. This guy is my girlfriends best friend (yeah, hes that guy). She is smoking hot so of course I am going to be slightly jealous that she hangs out with this clown all the time. They hang out way too much for my liking and he gets her gifts and drive her around, which is obviously a sign that he would like to fuck her. I never got overly concerned though cause he was one of those white guys that dresses and acts black. His demeanor screamed douchebag from miles away. My friends all knew about this creep too and all of them wanted to fuck him up too…
At the bar I think to myself that I’m out with my friends and having a good time so I figure that it’s not worth the aggravation of letting it bother me that’s he’s there. But this confrontation could not be avoided. He comes up to me about twenty minutes later…
Douche: What’s up, man?
Me: What’s up?
Douche: You’re buddy just called me a pussy.
Me: Okay.
Douche: I know you told him to say that.
Me: Although I agree with him, I didn’t tell him to say that.
Douche: That’s completely out of line.
Me: (I get in his face) Out of line? You’re calling me out of line?
Douche: Dude, don’t touch me. Get out of my face.
Are you kidding me? With the way this asshole acts with my girlfriend? I fuckin snap, “STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND!!!” and I throw a left and punch him in the face. He staggers back a little and grabs his face with a dumbfounded look on it. “I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU,” I yell at him. My friends grab me and are holding me back. “I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!” The place is small and everyone is just looking on with no idea what I’m so angry about. The bartenders have seen the whole thing though. They come over and promptly kick him out of the bar. My friends settle me down and the bartender gives me a drink on the house.
My girlfriend would later break up with me by the end of the weekend…fuck her too!


That’s what you get for being an aggressive prick.
yeah right its a good thing he broke up with that chick she sounds like a slut. You sound like a fucking moron Kevin you would want your girl hanging out with some dude FUCK THAT!!!! I agree with this fool fuck her and her faggot friend.
“Douche: You’re buddy”
- dude. If you pick a fight with some guy and also can’t use proper grammatical structure…. you’re the douche.
Don’t be such a jealous fuck.