I arrived at Union college to visit and old friend. So, Union college is beautiful but the girls I met were not. Now we know everyone visits friends at school to hang out with new girls for once so I was pretty disappointed. One girl in particular was far from attractive, well call her jess. Anyways, the girls in this dorm bring out a bottle of vodka to share between 5 people. Normally this wouldnt be enough to get me to the shit housed stage I usually function at, but these girls were terrible drinkers so I probably claimed more than half the bottle.
We all go out to a bar on campus which is the hot spot on Wednesday nights (yes Union college parties on wed instead of Thursdays weird). By 11:00 the place is packed and I have completely lost track of the group I came with. I am really ok with this because they sucked anyways, not to mention I am quite literally in cruise control.
This is where the events of the night get fuzzy. I remember leaving the bar after getting into a small scuffle with two d-bags over the start of the line for the bathroom. I remember getting into an argument with the girl I came to visit. But mostly I remember fucking Jess (the far from attractive girl) with a Durex condom. [A side note about Durex condoms they suck, I guarantee that half the illegitimate children born today are a result of some ass hole saving a few cents by picking Durex brand condoms. Don't be fooled by their clever flavors and colorful packaging.] After breaking 2 condoms in this girl I drunkenly decided im fucked either way and go to town bareback.
I wake up the next morning confused as shit and sit up. Starring up at me from my crotch area is a puddle of dried blood. I am in shock and have no idea what to do or think. The troll sleeping next to me wakes up and then stares at my boxers and says oh my . Out of all the things she could of said, the first thing this girl thinks of is “oh my”. What a dumb bitch.
Great story!